The Crying Game

EPISODE 93: Why football players weep.

The simple act of crying has confused scientists for centuries.

Humans, if you didn’t know, are the only creatures on Earth who secrete tears when they’re in their feelings: when we’re sad, or happy, or just lost to the University of Washington.

No less an authority than Charles Darwin wrote this seminal text, in 1872:

And in it, Darwin could not think of a logical, evolutionary reason why human faces involuntarily leak salty water at such emotional moments. The father of evolutionary theory actually declared “weeping” to be “purposeless.”

All of which brings us to this week’s NFL Draft.

This year, the projected No. 1 pick is a University of Southern California student named Caleb Williams. Whose tape will show that he can run and throw like Patrick Mahomes and do the thing a superstar quarterback does where he brings plays back from the dead.

But one of the biggest problems with Caleb Williams was also captured on video, right after USC lost to the University of Washington last fall.

And it’s the reason I asked Dave Fleming — a journalist who’s covered dozens of NFL drafts, and can smell front-office bullshit from miles away — to help me report this story in the first place.

Because in that video clip in question, Caleb Williams is crying. Hard. In his mother’s arms. More intensely than any other player I can recall.

So today, Flem and I go on a scientific voyage into the tear ducts of Caleb Williams. And his presumed opposite, Bill Belichick. And our friend Domonique Foxworth: who gives us some of the best insight into football locker rooms, and the human condition, that I’ve heard.

DKN/YOUTUBE SPOILER ALERT:

Clenchingly,

Pablo