Red Panda's One Shining Moment

EPISODE 85: Our campaign begins.

The political campaign that begins today’s Non-Mailbag Voicemailbag is extremely real.

The Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame has never once inducted a halftime performer. And we have since learned, thanks to Charlotte Wilder’s reporting in this episode, that they aren’t exactly keen to do so.

But we believe that Rong Niu — the one and only Red Panda — should finally break that barrier.

Which is why we created an official endorsement video, starring a cavalcade of Hall of Fame media members: Mike Breen, Jay Bilas, David Aldridge, Marc Spears, and Jackie MacMullan. All of whom watched Red Panda flip a tower of bowls from her foot onto her head, while riding a unicycle, in heels, for years.

And that matters, because the NBA players and coaches who typically vote on these Hall of Fame committees invariably retreated to their locker rooms during halftimes. We media types, on the other hand, learned long ago to stick around to watch Red Panda turn an intermission into the highest form of art.

Which is why we also had Nooch create this campaign poster:

The QR code in that top-left corner goes directly to an extremely real change.org petition that we actually need you to sign.

Because even though Red Panda is far too humble to mount any sort of campaign herself, we honestly mean this. We’re gathering signatures. We’re rustling up votes.

Every year, the new Hall of Fame class is officially announced during Final Four weekend. This weekend.

Which means that our goal, this time next year, is for Red Panda to make history.

ALSO IN THIS EPISODE: Flem, phlegm, Chuck Yeager, monkey semen, the Helen of Troy of Midwestern bars, D.J. Steve Porter, and our “One Shining Moment” remix.

Vote,

Pablo