New You

EPISODE 47: Why nobody does personal transformation like offensive linemen.

I was caught in one of my old loops on Instagram last weekend — I’ve lately been targeted by succulent propagators, which, I suppose, could be worse — when a video from Neil deGrasse Tyson snuck in.

The calendric New Year, the astronomer thundered, has “no astronomical relevance, significance or importance.”

But: of course. Of course the (calendric) New Year is invented. Of course New Year, New Me is a total social construct.

The real question is why.

Could such a construct actually help people reinvent themselves? Or get caught in fewer Instagram loops? Or — most popular in America, every single year — finally lose that weight?

All this is why our first episode of the New Year focuses on a tribe of athletes who have mastered the seemingly impossible art of personal transformation.

Because I contend that no position group executes on a weight-loss resolution like the NFL fraternity that might seem least likely to do so: the offensive lineman.

This, for example, was the Cleveland Browns’ Hall of Fame tackle, Joe Thomas, as a player:

And this is Joe Thomas now:

And this, for instance, was the San Diego Chargers’ Pro Bowl center, Nick Hardwick:

This is Nick Hardwick now:

And it keeps going like this, on and on, through the trenches. As you’ll see in today’s show: nobody looks better at a team reunion than the o-line.

But the real question, again, is why.

And so I persuaded an old friend of mine, Notre Dame’s own Mike Golic Jr., to not only interview Joe and Nick about their transformations. But to also consider how he and his legendarily zaftig dad, Mike Sr., became living proof of radical, personal change, themselves.

DKN/YOUTUBE SPOILER ALERT:

Happy New Year, again,

Pablo